Lazlar Lyricon II: Saturday 23 May 1998
   

Morning

Saturday started with Abigail's talk on sticking things in your ear and other places. Madam Purple tried to poison us at the nutrimatic cocktail tasting and all the drinks tasted almost entirely unlike tea. Some people tried to cheat throwing cups at the Nutrimatic Drink Dispenser but without gain. The cocktails actually contained:
Roosta's Revenge
Ginger cordial, Lime cordial & Cola.

Magrathea Sunrise
Strawberry squash, Orange juice and Pineapple Juice.

Crisis Inducer
Sparkling mineral water, Banana juice, Blue food colouring and Jungle Crunch cereal.

Liam caught some Babelfish and lan Sorensen proved what a boring old fart he is by reminiscing about being at Hitchercon in 1980. The Ultra Golf was fun and finally won (narrowly) by Tiger Woods, who would have been mocked mercilessly if he had lost.

Afternoon

At 3pm the Vl'Hurg/Octarine team beat the G'Gugvuntt/ZZ9 team in the Fannish Ashes despite Amyl's remarkable Ignorance concerning Dangermouse which lost them 20 points. Amyl and Jim de L have now represented both ZZ9 and Octarine in different years at the Fannish Ashes. Meanwhile, outside, Anne and Stefan were running a waterpistol squirtfest and, in the video room, Weird Al videos were prevalent.

At 4 we had Vogon crab stamping, an event that was dominated by members of the Irish Contingent. They're just better at shouting, pushing and stamping I suppose. Vogon Poetry Reading included some very bad poetry but fairly poor performances from most of the victims, many of whom seemed to quite enjoy it actually.

Evening

In the evening we had the memorable Worst Dressed Sentient Being in the Universe Disco. A number of things make this a disco never to forget. There were the costumes. Will Blight as a footwarrior, Russ as a bulldozer, Squaddie's Dirk Gently, a swarm of Hooloovoos and a horde of Vogons (two of whom left green body prints all over the hotel) to name but a few of the total.

But the real star of the disco was the DJ. A local hired by Simo, he turned up claiming he thought he was doing a rave and complained that he only liked dance music. We found loads of good stuff in his CD collection and got him to play it. The dance floor was packed with a heaving throng of a multicoloured bodies. And then suddenly he'd put on a HeavyGarageTechnoDance number and the dance floor would empty except for the DJ who would come out and dance on his own, grinning maniacally and staring at us through his heavily dilated pupils.

We'd tell him to get back to the usual assortment of stuff that ZZ9ers tend to like (punk, pop, rock, gimmickSF singles) and everything would be OK for three or four records and then... back to square one. On each occasion his memory would seem to have gone completely and he wouldn't know where he was and would complain that he was a dance DJ.

After Midnight

At 1am Tobes began a programme item in the Second Programme, most people moved from the disco to see it. We were only paying the DJ to work until 1am. He refused to stop and played dance music and danced on his own until 2, when it took several of our people and one of the hotel staff to get him to stop playing and clear out. Even then he rematerialised later in the hotel bar trying to scrounge drinks! 'What sort of a person attends programme items at 1am? - Tobes discusses with himself was attended by more people than any other items except the opening and closing ceremonies. What a strange bunch you are!

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